Okay, so who am I kidding? There will always be wine.
There are three things that will always "be" at the Parker house:
1. Dog hair. As long as I live, and and long as the Shop Vac that is currently serving as my vaccuum cleaner holds up, we will battle the dog hair. But for all the pain and struggle it causes us, we wouldn't give up its source for the whole world.
2. A sense of happy chaos. What? Chaos? At the Parker house? Never... hah. I'm not one of those women. You know... the kind that has the perfect wreath for every holiday. The one that has a place for everything and everything in its place. I'm too laid back - also known as pathologically lazy - for my own good. The clean house you see when you visit only stays that way for 24 hours, if I'm lucky. Any other time? Well, let's just say it's safer to not come unannounced.
3. And Wine. There will always be wine. It's a food group around here.
That being said, there will be no pictures of house updates in this post.
*Shock! Awe! Aghast!*
I know, I know. Who actually reads blogs? It's all about the pictures, the quick drive-by creeping we all live for. I'm sorry to disappoint. But really, this post was not meant to entertain anyone. The inspiration for this post came from my wonderful and ever-diligent husband.
Each and every day he impresses me more. I look outside every morning, and I see the amazing sight that is our deck, and I think to myself, "He made that... all by himself." He's currently outside - yes, the sun has set on Fayetteville - but he is still outside, slaving away, putting up railings, adding posts, doing who knows whatever his genius engineer-minded brain can configure. And I stand - correction, sit comfortably under a blankie in the living room, Man VS Food and dogs playing as my background noise - in total and utter awe of the wonder that is my husband.
This post, in all of its fun and non-picture-posting entertainment factors, should really be titled this:
"My Husband: Ninth Wonder of the World"
And I love him for it.
*End sappy crap.
Okay, okay. I know you're all dying for actual pictures. Get ovah it. There will be pictures soon. We are beginning the preparations to turn the Little Red House into a very Haunted Manor. For those of you who are able to attend the party, you will see first hand the bundle of absolute awesome. For everybody else, I'll have lots of pictures of the decorating process, plus some step by steps for some of the fancier DIY projects we'll be creating.
To give you a taste of the wickedness that will be this haunted manor, I'll impart upon you a little tale. I went to the Spirit Store last night. FYI, the best way to be taken seriously at a Halloween store? Grab a buggy/cart/basket. The ears prick up and the help arrives in droves as soon as the first item hits said basket. I walked in, grabbed a basket, and began shovelling spiders into it. Within one second, I had four, count 'em four, employees, including the manager, rush up to help me in my 'search' for everything arachnid. They were actually really helpful. But yes, be prepared. There will be a spider room at the haunted manor.
There will also be the classics:
Bobbin' for Apples Punch
Swamp Sangria - for those that the punch is too much for
A gaggle of ghoulish delights (that means food, and I don't mean just candy corn)
Beer pong on the behemoth of a deck
Dancing
And plenty of spooks and frights to go around.
Beds will be provided for all those who get lost, never to return home.....
Okay, so you can stay, but you better get the heck out by noon.
And to end this strangely erratic post, I leave you with one thought:
You know you have problems when you get more excited about a fog machine than, well, anything fathomable. It's just wrong, but I'm so excited about my "Mist Maker" from the Spirit Store. $19.99 well spent.
